Divorce, sex and Six Months to Get a Life

A year or so ago, my life, and the lives of others close to me, went through a period of upheaval and change. I went from being part of the typical family unit to living with my parents and having to reinvent family relationships, routines and dreams.

Put the violins away. Out of adversity comes opportunity (God that sounds corny!). I had to think positively, otherwise I might have crumbled, fallen apart or even sunk to the sordid depths of watching soap operas all night with a can of strong lager in my hand. Wait. Rewind. What was I doing last night?

Anyway, to cut a long and personal story short, I coped. I got through my change in life circumstances, as did those close to me.

The single most important thing that helped me through my challenging time was a decision I took one wet Sunday afternoon when the kids weren’t with me. I decided to pursue my dream.

No, not the dream that involves Madonna and Kylie Minogue, but the one that I have had since Kylie was in her dungarees as a teenager in that Australian classic, Neighbours. Sorry, I am back on soap operas again.

My dream, since my school years, has always been to write a book. No, that’s under-stating it. Not just to write any old book, but to write a best-selling novel that thrusts me overnight into the public eye, alongside Rowling, Grisham, EL James (er, maybe not her), Cornwell and the other members of the literary glitterati. Even as a teenager I knew that it wasn’t enough for me to produce a book. I had to produce one that people other than my mother would read.

So, back to that wet Sunday afternoon in March. I got my laptop out, plugged it in, made a cup of tea and sat down to write. I drank my tea, got up and made a sandwich, sat back down and ate it. I thought some more, did some head-scratching and maybe a bit of chin-stroking too. Eventually it was tea time.

What to write? I love crime fiction but I don’t know the first thing about police procedures, forensic science or how the criminal mind works. So that was that genre out of the window. I am not a big fan of horror or sci-fi. And I don’t even know what dystopian fiction and steampunk are, so that’s them ruled out too.

‘What do I know about’, I asked myself in a frustrated tone of voice. Can you have a tone of voice when you say things in your head?

Eventually, in a eureka moment to rival the day that Einstein bruised his apple, the idea came to me. I know about relationships, or at least how to mess them up. I know about family. I know about the impact of the break-up of a long-term relationship. I also believe I know how to make people laugh (and cry). Why not stick all of that into a pot and stir it up?  And that’s when ‘Six Months to Get a Life’ was conceived.

The act of conception was slightly different from other acts of conception you might be familiar with, but after a lot of sole-searching, a fair bit of fiddling around and a few false starts (actually maybe there is more in common than I first thought) the moment was just as sweet.

I wrote the book over the course of the Spring and Summer. It was good therapy for me. Inventing Graham Hope and his friends and writing about his escapades made me smile. I loved writing the dialogue. Being a writer is fantastic. Unlike real life, you get ages to think up the perfect put-down lines.

I signed up with a company who have held my hand, and sometimes dragged me kicking and screaming through the editing and production process. Until today when we now virtually have a physical book to waive around. We have that elusive publication date. The 21st January is getting closer. My excitement is mounting.

I wanted to recap my author journey here in this blog. I am not recommending that everyone going through a relationship break-up writes a book. I am not even recommending that everyone who has gone through such a life-changing event buys my book (although it would be nice). I am just telling you how much the whole process has helped me through a difficult time.

And my regular readers have stood side by side with me on this journey. Lots of people have commented on this blog. Virtually all of them are people I do not know personally. You should know that your contributions have meant a lot to me. The whole process of writing the book and this blog has reaffirmed my belief in my own writing. It has given me hope that, one day, I might achieve my dream. I am under no illusions, there is still a long way to go. It isn’t as if this blog gets millions of hits a day. Even thousands would be nice. But I am at least on the road.

Update on my marketing activity…

Since my last blog, I have continued with my quest to gain reviewers for my baby, with a good response from bloggers. I have entered a sort of mini-competition on Jo Michael’s excellent book blog, with the aim of gaining more reviews and maybe some sales too.

I have also received more positive feedback on the book from another reviewer I have never met before. Her email made me smile so much that I was tempted to order a frame for it and stick it on my wall next to my Madonna poster circa mid-1980s.

My book has been sent off to an indie site that issues quality badges for books it recognises to be of a high standard – a sort of kite mark for Indie books. There’s confidence for you!

And finally, my publicist is preparing the press release for ‘Six Months to Get a Life’, to be sent out in January ahead of the book’s launch. She asked me if there were any quotes in my book that I thought would fit into the press release. I am currently re-reading it for the fifty-seventh time to find some pithy one-liners. The ones that make me smile most, but aren’t probably suitable for inclusion on a press release, are:

‘It’s been a while, if you know what I mean’… Graham Hope on his sex-life.

‘Graham has a big ego and a small dick. I wish it was the other way round.’ (Graham’s ex on Graham).

‘I was in my comfort zone even if my erogenous zone wasn’t seeing much action.’ I am not telling you who said that. You will have to read the book to find out!

I would love to hear what you think of my ramblings. And if you would be interested in reviewing the book, let me know. I will be sending review copies out to those who have already volunteered before Christmas.

Ben

7 thoughts on “Divorce, sex and Six Months to Get a Life

  1. davidprosser December 9, 2014 / 1:54 pm

    Since I wrote humour too I have to offer you my Best Wishes and much luck. I shall be checking to see if Graham finds another woman for the perfect relationship so I can copy him. It’s been an eon if you know what I mean.
    Hugs

  2. jenanita01 December 10, 2014 / 10:48 am

    Hi Ben, I definitely like the ‘cut of your jib’ if you know what I mean. We are new authors too, feeling our way through all the confusion. Love to review your book as I want to read it anyway…
    Jaye and Anita

    • Ben Adams December 10, 2014 / 4:16 pm

      Thanks for your support David! And Anita and Jaye, I love your blog too. I can’t find a way of contacting you as I would be delighted if you would review my book. If you want to message me your email address privately, the best way I can think of to do it is via the contact form on my website http://benadamsauthor.com. There might be an easier way but I am a bit useless when it comes to these things!

  3. billyboobs1 January 3, 2015 / 5:38 pm

    Hi Ben, Thanks for the follow. I wish you luck on your writing journey!

  4. danabeesvoice January 3, 2015 / 11:19 pm

    I like your blog – it is funny at just the right moments, and not too much hilarity! I tweeted you this afternoon after I ordered – um, pre-ordered – your book. I just finished the first draft of my first novel and have never had so much fun as I did while writing it. I would happily review your book. There aren’t any on amazon yet! My blog is mostly about being sick and trying to get a transplant. BUT I did write a couple short fiction pieces this past summer. Try reading “Tiny Shrines.” I think it’s funny and you might like it. @DanaBennett3 – we’re following each other. I live in the United States – I hope this doesn’t make you hate me. I like Obama, voted for the dude twice. Oh, and I love John Oliver and you can’t have him back!

    • Ben Adams January 4, 2015 / 9:29 am

      DanaBee, your blog makes for really interesting reading. I am certainly going to follow your story in 2015. As for the US, it’s my holiday destination of choice. I hope to be back there at some point this year. It is great to have you as a new follower of this blog, and I will be sure to DM you via twitter to take you up on your offer of a book review.

  5. mgill0627 January 4, 2015 / 12:45 am

    Your book sounds great, and if the blog post is any indication of your voice, you’ll have a hit on your hands. I’m looking forward to it. Good Luck!

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